My Blog

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WHAT SELF-WORTH HAS TO DO WITH REJECTION

Rejection hurts and is extremely unpleasant. Nevertheless, it is part of life. We cannot prevent being rejected or encountering rejection. However, we can learn to handle rejection better. In this post, I share with you 7 helpful tips.

Rejection is something I think we experience often (sometimes too often if you ask me) in life: We get a rejection on a job application, a rejection from our crush, our partner leaves us, a friend cancels the long awaited meeting and in the office our project idea is rejected.

We can be rejected at every turn and unfortunately there is no real prevention for it.

But why is it so difficult for us to deal with rejection in the first place?

If we are confronted with it so often, you would think that you would have slowly gotten used to being rejected. But no. Fiddlesticks. Being rejected is always a painful experience.

But somehow we don’t manage to go through the world with compassion and love. Either we are too busy with ourselves, projecting our own problems onto the other person, our ego has taken over, we slept badly, ate something bad, the work, the spouse, the child…reasons upon reasons why we act or react like this. But basically we all have a common goal – to lead a happy and content life. At least that’s what I’m assuming to this day, unless you disagree, in which case PLEASE leave me a comment.

But, and this is the point – why does rejection still feel like a slap in the face to us? And that’s where I have to go way out on a limb. Because, for evolutionary reasons, those people who were well integrated into a community came through better. Those who were on their own were more likely to be eaten by the saber-toothed tiger that was already lurking around the corner, or to freeze to death because they couldn’t look after themselves well enough. The people who were hurt when they were excluded from a community were consequently the better adapted people and survived more easily. Our brains still haven’t unlearned this connection.

Wow. Welcome to the here & now ladies and gentlemen…so to get through your life with ease in the 21st century, you’ll find my tips.

I’m sharing with you my 7 tips to better deal with rejection

So what can we do? How can we manage to deal with rejection better? The following 7 tips can help you protect your self-worth in the face of rejection and deal with rejection more constructively.

  • Do not take it personally
  • Find alternative explanations
  • ONE opinion, ONE point of view at ONE time from ONE person – so stay realistic
  • Be good to yourself and treat yourself well
  • Inquire and find clarity in this situation that is uncomfortable for you
  • Reflect the situation and maybe recognize YOUR shadow child part
  • Talk to a good friend and ask him/ her to make a list of positive attributes of you

You are a valuable person and no rejection, no rebuff and no disrespect will ever change that. Believe in yourself!

Would you like to believe in it more, but your self-doubt stands in your way too often? Then I invite you to join me for a yoga class or a life coaching session to increase your self-esteem, find new self-confidence and finally meet yourself with more self-care.

You are a WONDER.

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The complexity of life

Do you ever ask yourself that? Your to-do list is getting longer and longer, you have to deal with things you don’t feel like doing and you don’t have the time for the things that you really enjoy? You dream of a simple life, dream of ideas you want to realize, wish for more time and just don’t know how to do it?

To achieve this, you don’t have to flee from your everyday life, move to the country or switch off your smartphone and meditate for hours – if you become aware of a few things and are willing to change some of your views, it will work.

Pay attention to your thoughts, because they become your words.

Pay attention to your words because they become your actions.

Pay attention to your actions, because they become your habits.

Pay attention to your habits because they become your character.

Pay attention to your character, for it become your destiny.

So you pretty much decide for yourself what you think, what you do and how you act as a person.

When you first become aware of how much time you give to your thoughts, which strand of thoughts you have followed again and what effects this can have on you, wouldn’t you start to look for a way out, too?

And yes, it is indeed simple: You can think what you want. You can take responsibility for your own well-being. You determine how you feel in certain situations. Thinking is actually one of the only things that you can actively determine yourself.

I would like to share 5 steps with you that help me when it gets too much, too complicated and the complexity of life tries to get me out of it:

1.Allow yourself to pause for a moment. Do not blame yourself. That would make the situation much more unpleasant. Just start to prioritize your topics:

What is important?

What can wait?

What is easy for you?

What takes a little longer?

Then create a time schedule.

2.Maybe you don’t have to do things that are very difficult for you alone? Get support or do some research on the internet, most of the time an idea, solution or way has already been found that might fit – also for your topic.


3.Have confidence in yourself. Did you know that trust is the opposite of fear and chaos? Well, now you know it.


4.Do you consciously endure such unpleasant situations and ask yourself if there is a learning process waiting for you to grow?


5.And if you are totally blocked and nothing works anymore, then leave the to-do, go out into the fresh air, walk a few meters and breathe in and out consciously. Air out your head. This little change of location helps you to get other thoughts and sometimes works wonders.

Last but not least: Yoga, meditation or even the conscious involvement of a coach will also help to free you from your carousel of thoughts and old habits. You learn to build up strategies for yourself that will support you in the long run to build up a strong inner attitude for the complexity of your personal life.

Peace, Love & Namasté

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Why taking breaks and resting is so important

It has become a bit quieter regarding my contributions, such as guided online meditations or blogs. I have actually allowed myself a quieter phase. My online yoga has been booming in the last weeks, especially during the lockdown. But now it has become a bit quieter. Most of my clients now prefer to move outside again, outside in nice weather…I totally understand. I feel the same way. I enjoy being outside with my family and friends. The great weather, the nature and also the regained feeling of freedom – everything attracts outside.

And this change – or to put it another way – this somewhat calmer time, regarding my activities and my offer, I have used for myself and renounced advertising for my online yoga, assignments for life & health coaching as well as new meditations and the creation of contributions.

At the beginning it felt a bit strange. I’m more of a doer, rest and sitting still is a foreign word for me – I enjoy producing content and working with clients. This is my passion and then I am in the FLOW: creating something, designing, contributing some content, coaching, teaching yoga and then the feeling when I look into the satisfied faces after a coaching or yoga lesson or when a project is successfully completed…JUST AWESOME.

But especially active and creative people like me need breaks – breaks to look inside again. Breaks to calm down and to listen to the inner voice and your own needs. Most of the time this is lost in the pulsating everyday life. This is the same with me. I am completely honest with that.

Sure, I meditate regularly, I practice yoga daily, I have my routines. But it is rare that I spend more than 30 minutes in front of the TV or just do some nonsense that has nothing to do with work or any of my routines. In fact it mostly has something to do with projects, vision work or content. I kind of don’t allow myself to just do nothing. For me it is somehow labelled as senseless. And yet, when I have a weak moment and watch a funny TV show, or just read an exciting and amusing book (instead of what I usually read, like non-fiction and specialist literature) – I realize how good it feels to relax my soul. This has nothing to do with senseless, but with allowing.

A little excursion: Laughing does something to your mind and body. Through smiling, your brain receives positive signals and becomes more efficient. While you smile, you learn easier and faster and memorize the information you take in much better. While endorphins are released, the release of the stress hormones cortisol and adrenaline is suppressed in your body. So it also prevents burn-out and increases your creativity and promotes a healthy lifestyle in a simple way. The short-term changes in your hormone balance can be so strong that they help relieve your tension and any pain. And, even your immune system is stimulated by the laughter.

And yes, at the moment I personally hear this voice inside me louder and louder – saying: take a break, enjoy the peace and quiet, take it easy and trust that everything will come at the right time…and it will, I’m sure.

  • Do you notice moments like this in yourself?
  • Moments when your inner voice wants to tell you something?
  • Do you listen to that voice?

I wish you a great summer and a lot of laughs!

Namasté

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Morning Flow – Guided Meditation in English

I just released my first meditation in English! I am so excited, I hope you like it.

As I am still connected to the USA – I left a piece of my heart there – and especially to some very close friends who live there, I was motivated to record one in English. We all live in special times and supporting each other should become the new normal…

With this meditation you will start into your new day with a relaxed and positive attitude – you will feel solid as a rock afterwards, because you are the CEO of your life and can create your perfect day. Have fun and trust in the process.

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MAY THE FORCE BE WITH YOU

How long will it take you to make a change?

In essence, we are all the same… although we are not 100% satisfied with something, be it a recurring situation, be it at work, in a partnership, with ourselves, with another person, we remain in this state. Something stops us from immediately escaping this unpleasant situation or feeling…why is that? And, have I written here now nonsense and you think, hey nooo, I immediately say something or change something if something annoys, disturbs, and frustrates me, ….

And, is that so? Or do you – and I include myself there – also belong to the tribe of ” being patient, letting everything survive…”until at some point it starts to bubble inside you and a feeling of frustration, anger, despair, sadness breaks out?

The thing is the following…of course you shouldn’t give in to your first reaction, that’s what toddlers and babies do, they’re great at it – I’m speaking from experience 🙂 Only we adults, we’re mostly in the so-called Adult ME (at some point I’ll go into it more closely) and there you have to “dominate” yourself. Haha. Yes, that means that you don’t get a tantrum or even break out in tears. Now it is so that everything with adults begins with a thought, this triggers the feeling, this determines your spoken word, which leads to an action at some point. This action becomes a habit at some point and, eh, your character is formed.

That means, for example, if you are no longer happy in a relationship, but it has lasted for a few months or years, a reaction out of affect is not the best. BUT neither is perseverance. And certainly not when you feel worse and worse. There is also something like intuition or gut feeling, unfortunately most of us don’t feel it anymore and when we do, thoughts come up that are much more powerful than intuition.

Ask yourself, how quickly do you make decisions? What has to happen before you make a decision? And if you have – I suppose in your mind – made a decision, how long does it take you to put it into practice? Do you still follow or pay attention to your intuition or your gut feeling?

I mentioned above the classic way of reacting, starting with a mere thought about a situation and what kind of rat tail follows. To repeat: First the thought, then the feeling, then the word, then the action, then often the habit of always reacting to the same thought with the same feeling and et voila – endless loop and you are trapped…

In yoga we speak of Chanti, the inner voice, your thoughts…which, if you are not aware of it, can go through with you. And although the day actually started well and there was nothing specific, the world can end – YOU can make the world end, just with your thoughts… can you still follow me? 🙂

Now, to my initial question – how long will it take you to make a change?

In order to become aware of your thoughts, meditating, for example, helps you learn that your thoughts are not YOU. Thoughts are your experiences, experiences, beliefs, education, … but YOU are not your thoughts!

Become aware of this and you will find clarity in decisions quite quickly – whether everything is good as it is or whether you really have to change something.

In this sense, let’s flow and namaste 🙏🏼

Anja xx

P.S. And watch out for your intuition in the next few days! 🙂

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Recharging your batteries…

… sometimes easier said than done.

After a busy and intensive week at work, there is nothing you want more than to put your feet up at the weekend, go out into nature, relax in a spa, read a good book, go for a walk in the fresh air – most people think this is all very well.

But the reality is different. It continues with the obligations: family, shopping, washing, ironing, bills, leisure time appointments, children’s birthdays, and much more – everything that is left over during the week must be done at the weekend.

Even the “socializing” may then seem exhausting. And you wonder what I would give for 30 free minutes of doing nothing.

I felt the same way – and when I had 30 minutes, I went to bed for a Power Nap. Interestingly enough, I felt even more tired afterwards and didn’t even get into my flow.

You know that feeling? Tired? Wore out? Powerless?

I have tried a lot and learned a lot – about myself but also about ways that really help to get back into your flow.

One example is my daily yoga practice – maybe this doesn’t appeal to you at first – but this activity not only activates your physical energies but also your mind and is really stimulating and challenging at the same time. There are different Yoga styles and I am pretty sure that there is something for you.

Meditation and mindfulness exercises also support me. In this context I would like to give you a few tips:

✔️ Allow yourself a quiet moment, preferably right now
✔️ Make yourself comfortable while sitting, straighten your spine vertically
✔️ Close your eyes
✔️ Circle a little with your shoulders and then slowly come to rest
✔️ Now concentrate on your breathing. Observe how your breath flows naturally
✔️ Now deepen your inhalation and exhalation, count 4 during inhalation and exhalation and repeat the procedure a few times.

If you like, you can intensify this exercise now:
✔️Breath slowly through the nose in – for 4 seconds
✔️Hold your breath for 7 seconds, stay relaxed
✔️ Breath now for 8 seconds strong and preferaferably with open mouth out
✔️ Concentrate on this breathing exercise for 3 minutes
✔️ Observe your thoughts, but do not lose yourself in them
✔️ Stay present in the here and now
✔️ And slowly get back into your natural breathing rhythm, slowly open your eyes

Do you feel more relaxed and calm? By the way, this exercise also lowers blood pressure and is ideal in the evening before going to bed.

In my coaching sessions I build in such exercises according to your needs, which you can then also try out at home. You can be curious what is possible!

Let me help you to charge your batteries with the right methods and tools for you.

Power Button on!